Being on the other side

When I try to remember my student days way back in Kharagpur and even in Delhi, all I can recollect is an image of a quite boy who would not perhaps ask that many questions in middle of the class but surely would not miss a single class and would be all ears with 100 per cent attention. I always had that appetite for accumulating more and more knowledge. May be some of the faculties where not that good in their delivery but I always believed that even those had so much to offer to me. I was more an admirer of their passion for the subject rather than their flawless presentations with literal arabesque. I am still all ears but perhaps only to people who do not talk gibberish.

Back in those engineering days, one thing intrigued me a lot. In a batch of more than 100 people, half came for the class usually, most placing themselves in the backbenches so that they could nap to make up for the night out they did playing Counter Strike or watching some Korean movies as they had already exhausted the English and Hindi ones, others where busy discussing the hall politics and other jazz, and thus only a handful front benches gave a damn to what the teacher was trying to sell. And it is hard to believe that the teacher had no clue of what was going on in the class. Perhaps he preferred the numbers physically present rather than the ones who were present mentally as well. I wondered, even with all this, how does he get the motivation for the lecture. From where all this energy erupted within him?

I got the answer to that very recently when I got the opportunity to be on the other side of the bench. Not that this was the first time but since I had a larger quantum to deal with this time, it gave me the opportunity to understand the dynamics of the other side. I was given the job to deal with Public Policy and Personnel Administration. Perhaps nobody's favorite chapters but then I took it as a challenge. And there were two different batches at two different places. One small and other relatively large. Prima Facie, I thought it would be more fun to deal with the larger one as it would motivate me more. But I was proved wrong pretty soon.

The smaller one proved to be way way better and I had the best time teaching there. Those students were very keen and very responsive. And it was their body language that kept me going. I felt that they played a big role in bringing out the best in me. I felt full of energy during those three hours everyday as if on Red Bull throughout. I felt happy and convinced that I had done a fair job at the end. It was not that the other batch was not attentive but there some things did bother me a lot. There were some faces which were apparently pressurized to take up this venture and clearly had no inclination towards the subject. Apparently their cellphones were much more interesting than what I had to offer. They made faces apparently as if they were ready to vomit on my face. I wondered why they came to the class at all.

It's not that I have a number fetish and people leaving the class would turn me down or something. I always believed that one should never be pressurized to learn. It should come from within. And there is no point making someone stay against their will. The only thing that bothered me was that their behavior somehow impacted mine. And I suddenly realized that I was not apparently at my best and that too because of some people who are not interested at the first place. Why was I letting them to manipulate me? And this is precisely when i got the answer to that question. Among the mediocre crowd, there were a bunch of people who listened with all the attention, who nodded along when a significant point came across and I could feel that all this is making sense to them. And then suddenly, I was only seeing these people and ergo pulled myself up again.

So at the end, I feel happy for having helped them in whatsoever little way I could. Especially those who came up to me at the end, have to admit, that meant a lot to me. May be I disappointed few who like the gyan to be delivered with a pinch of laughter. But I felt it was more important to utilize every second for their benefit. Always there for you guys, all the best!

What's in a name

It was during college days that I came across a blog. It was from the bylanes of someone's life. It was intriguing, powerful and novel. And the way feelings were expressed aroused my interest in writing. I told myself that I need to try this out and I did. And after writing the first one, it felt wonderful. It clicked from the first instant. And with time I realized that it was not about letting others know, having a large fan following of readers eagerly waiting form your next blog post. It was about something else. It was about the feeling of freedom to express. It was about the magic of words. The interplay and the streamline flow. They created beauty to me, sheer magic!

There are some things you instantly fall in love with. You get a feeling that they belong to you and were waiting all the way to be discovered by you. And then they stay with you forever. And ergo I am grateful to that blog.

It is strange that even from the words someone writes, you can make out what that person would be like in person. So after all these years, I finally met her. It was like that blog coming live in front of me. And I am surprised that it didn't feel like meeting someone for the first time. I guess the thoughts which flow with your words actually define you, not your appearance.

After catching up onto things and appreciating the delicious prawn toasts, we were talking about minority rights and the pseudo secularism in India that she narrated her own experience. When she moved to Delhi and rented a place, all seemed fine at the first place. But when the time came to do the paper works and she wrote her full name, it occurred to the landowners that her religion is problematic for them and they cannot allow her to stay anymore. So on some other pretext, they asked her to leave. Then she tells me that often some people advice her that her name is "difficult" and she should change it. Available rooms suddenly become full when she tells her full name.

I was so disgusted to hear this. I was so disgusted that I somehow belong to the same breed of people who are so damn prejudiced about people from the Muslim community. They have all these notions and apprehensions that make no sense to me. Why can't we see people as they are and not by what religion they follow or come from? Such people and such cruel behavior is the only reason for the existing distance between these communities. If Hindutva is about being prejudiced towards the Muslim community, then I do not want to be associated with it. I feel that there should be only one religion in this world. That of humanity and nothing else.

"What's in a name"(that's her blog nick), those who judge you on your name are utter fools and should be exiled to hell. May they rot in hell. I am sorry that you had to face that. I know this won't make any difference to the pain you have suffered but just felt like saying. You are wonderful, stay blessed!