Wild *

My Rating: 1/5

Once in while, we do get movies which relate to the now cliched idea of our material world being Epic Boring and dull, full of abuses and shit, drugs and stuff, and the solution to all this being a lone track into the woods during which people get this amazing clarity of life and their purpose in it. Had it been so easy, all the people in the world would only be found in the woods. And here comes the very important difference between real life and reel life.

"Wild" in essence, feels like a feminine watered down version of the Epic "Into the Wild".  This one is actually a memoir of this women who took this 1000 plus mile tracking all by herself. Now, taking a cliched idea is not the problem. But executing it in a cliched way is the real killer here. People are tired of this shit man, Drugs, Loss to cancer, lone trail along the pacific, this has become passe, I am sorry but that is the bitter truth.

The plot sequencing in the movie is so bad you almost get the impression that the editing of the movie was outsourced to some high school kid as his winter holiday project. There is a damn difference between randomness and non-linearity of story telling. This one seems deliberate and ergo is irritatingly poor. Literally there is nothing unusual in movie. It is so damn predictable. And the track she opts for is a well laid down one with hundreds of others taking it simultaneously. How the fuck are you able to realize individuality in this pseudo wilderness.

It strains my brain, when I try to look for positives from this flick. But still, i would try. At times, it does feel like a poetry which flows effortlessly. But only ephemerally. In a way it tells us that we should not have any baggage from the past. Look forward, not backward. Not a ground breaking idea, but it's okay to be reminded once in a while. That'a a'' folks!  There isn't much "film" like in this movie. You see these documentaries all the time on the TV. It's just the most boring journey you will ever see. Do not try to dig deeper to get the hidden meaning having the potential to change your life. Because it isn't there!

Strict NO for this dull affair, go watch MSG instead, that is much more "Wild", any given day!

Whiplash * * * *

My Rating: 4/5

As you all are aware that this is that time of the year, the build up to the Oscars where we have the nominations with us, suddenly we get this to-watch list of movies we haven't heard of. The multiplexes realizing this, release all the movies in the nominations and we get attracted to them. It's like our body is reacting to the pheromones of the opposite sex. No fucking control over it. But as in real life, sometimes you do get lucky. And this movie is that moment!

Whiplash is a fast paced drama revolving around this ambitious young drummer and his ferocious teacher who has the most unusual way of nurturing the wannabe music legends. This young kid wants to be the best drummer the world has seen and is ready to accept all the sacrifices he has to make in the life to come. In fact, he has already prepared himself mentally. He likes this girl who works at the Cinemas, flirts a little, dates her, soon to realize that she would become an impediment on his road to success. Breaks it up in the infancy itself. That was just one example.

This guy is so crazy for drumming that he would go to any length. He personifies the phrase "Fighting till the very last breathe". He would drum so hard and so fast, that he would bleed, and bleed. He wanted to get faster and faster. His coach, Fletcher, played by the ever energetic J.K.Simmons who is a hard ass and has the most difficult way of teaching music. He abuses the students, scares the shit out of them, and then says " That was me being polite!". He is like that drunkard abusive father under whom the kids get real tough for life.

The whole movie is about the relationship between these two. Its about a wonderfully weird way of creating Mozarts and Beethovens by pushing the limits of ordinary people with extraordinary desires. The movie is so fast paced, its like a symphony you get lost in. You lose track of time. Brilliant performances from J.K.Simmons and the protagonist. The words are crisp and precise. The length is brilliantly perfect. The music that they create is fucking amazing!

Although it also comes from a near debutante director, a very young director, but this is not another "Roy". Believe me, go for this, this jamming session is totally worth it!

P.S. Must watch for all the music lovers!

Toastmasters Icebreaker Speech

Mr. Toast Master and dear friends,

When I first heard about this toastmasters thing, i thought, "Oh so, they formed a club to booze together and raise toasts, i mean how cool is that!", I am so game for it. But then you can stay in your wonderland only ephemerally, and reality strikes sooner than you think it would. And here I am, in front of this wonderful audience, with the Ice Breaker. I do feel those Butterflies in my stomach but thankfully I was there when Mr. Amit thought us "How to train your butterflies". That was a great speech and I am not just saying it to get some brownie points from the evaluator .

Act I "Infancy" - Once upon a time , on Martyr's Day i.e. January the 30th, 1987,  a Marathi family residing somewhere in Central India got a new member, a baby boy. The mother, remembering the dream in which she had seen him about zillion times, named the child "Swapnil" meaning "the one you dream of". The father also had a name in mind but does it really matter? Of course, this is the "Mother Zone" . The family name was "Tembe" which refers to a Brazilian Tribe living alongside the Amazon River. And the ultra curly hair on this kid signaled a possible connect. Leaving anthropology aside, in the school days, he was this geeky, quite and obedient little kid, to sum up-boring!

Act II "Football" - He fell in love. Love which was deep, passionate and for eternity. With the greatest game ever, Football. He loved the adrenaline, the pace and the aggression. This was something which he couldn't get enough of. He would watch it, play it, video game it, live it as if it was his religion. Then someone told him about the great football club "Manchester United", the one with the greatest history ever. He became a follower so much so that he engraved it on his arm. Forever United. In his college days he trained hard and would have made into the Football team but fate it seems is not without a sense of irony. Double Muscle Tear, both legs, dream shattered. He would cry in his room overlooking the football field where the team practiced. He would avoid the way beside the football field. The doctors said "No more extensive running for you". He gave up which later seemed like the biggest mistake ever. But there he learnt the biggest lesson "Never say die". Someone very Intelligent has said that "Life is like a boxing match, you do not loose when you fall, but only when you refuse to get up!".  This inspired him, such is the power of words. He worked harder to strengthen himself, to undo what had gone wrong the last time. And one day he would return to the football field. That was the greatest joy for  him, still is!

Act III "Blogging"- He fell in love, again! This girl he met, she was perfect. May be a little tall for him but hey, Tom Cruise Nicole Kidman, they looked cool, right? Anyway, drowned in the sea of love, he felt like he had too much to say, to tell. He started writing. It went on and on and on. He had so much to say. So much so that he discovered that the act of writing transcends him to this blissful state. Everyone is unique, everyone has this one thing they always love to do. His was writing. And it was never about having a blog following or something. The pleasure was never with the applause but the act itself. It has been more than 7 years. And the momentum has always been exponentially rising!

Act IV "Public Service"- He joined the paramilitary for a brief spell which was long enough to transform him tremendously. There he understood the sacrifice that people make for the country. These army men, live in very difficult and inhospitable environments and locations. They stay away from their families for long periods. He had already a great respect for them. But now having seen it for real, that respect grew many many folds. This period was a great teacher which taught him the value of time, discipline and the sense of public service.

Act V "Role Model" - His father was a great influence on him. His father was a teacher of Mathematics and apart from that dedicated all his youth to the service of humanity as a volunteer for the Ramkrishna Mission. His father gave free tuition to the poor all his life. His father always told him two things : "Howsoever big you become, do not let go your humility" & "Help Others". He asked his father one day "Dad, all my friends, their father have already decided what they should become when they grow up, what you want me to become?". His father told him this one thing which he had never forgot "I want you to be a good human being, nothing else!"


The Last Act , here he stands, before you, extremely grateful to this patient audience for being such good listners!



Thank You all!

[Movie Review] Roy

Director: Vikramjit Singh
Star Rating:      (Space intentionally left blank!)

So, remember the Gyan which every moviegoer is more or less aware of "Do not judge a movie by its trailer!". Yeah, so unfortunately I ignored this one while deciding whether to indulge with this debutante director of the tinsel town. The trailer gives an entirely different picture that with Ranbir Kapoor at the helm, this dark thriller on identity theft can be among the big leagues and that Epic song surely the icing on the cake.

When we venture into something new and exiting, when we make a new beginning, we do put too much into the first step we take in that direction. The director also has put too much ....shit into it! In fact its totally incredible that he was able to produce more shit than the entire open defecation in India. On a serious note, the plot seems unconnected, hardly any flow and very abstract overall. I mean its like a three year old attempting the Nolan's style of non-linear story telling.

Moving to specifics, the screen space has been very unevenly distributed with the Cigarettes and Whisky getting 90 per cent of the screen space and the actors fighting it out hard for the remaining portion. Totally like Interstellar, the director is able to portray time as a dimension and successfully demonstrates how it can be stopped. One minute in the multiplex while watching "Roy" is like One year in the real and more sensible world outside the hall. Epic achievement.

Now, talking of performances, Ranbir looks like a mock-up with that weird smile all the time and that freaking monotonous voice of his. Hard to understand, why he agreed for this shitting role which required no credentials. Rampal does no extraordinary either and the only thing attracting people is the female lead and her double. By double I meant "role", but I know what you thought. Ergo, nothing to take back from the performances either.

This movie cannot be rated in stars. It much more beyond that, in the opposite direction I mean. So instead of giving negative stars, perhaps we should rate it in black holes. Those dark and dreary enclosures which suck big time. They can suck away your sense and sensibility. On that scale, this movie deserves all five black holes. Groundbreaking indeed, so much so that we had to invent a new scale of rating! This has even made me thing about the prospect of getting my ticket money back by filing a petition with the Consumer Court. You may even consider watching "Messenger of God" over it, laughing it out is better than crying out loud, any given day!

Avoid, at all costs!

Hauz Khas Village

Today was one of those days when people feel that sense of attachment to each other thanks to our strong national fabric. We are today proud of our Constitutional forefathers who had shown great political character and statesmanship to yield such a brilliant Constitution which has more or less stood the test of time. It was raining since early hours but that would in no way dampen the spirits of young men who would still gallop to reach for the flag hoisting in time. The flag looked so beautiful in that drizzle. We were all soaked but it wasn't the rain. Emotions. Patriotic emotions. Overwhelming patriotic emotions.


As for the rest of the day, I felt like experimenting with some sea food joints across NCR as we had the rest of the day for ourselves. Nikhil seemed excited about the idea and we two embarked upon the delicious journey it was to be. Now when you enter the place for the first time, all you come across are dingy lanes with clumsily manufactured streak of restaurants. You get a feel that they never gave a damn to think about the claustrophobic foodies. But then, you should not judge these little gifted kitchens by their frontiers and should rather let the food speak for itself.

Now I would here give a disclaimer that the best options at HKV would be the lake facing ones. One such example is the Out of the Box (OTB) which is on the main lane itself. Do not get discouraged while climbing up to the roof top setting. It feels like you are going up the Burj Khalifa or the likes but the moment you reach there and grab a seat on your table overlooking the beautiful lake, its all worth it. In fact, that is one of the Unique Selling Point (USP) of eating places at HKV. Now about this place called OTB, real good sea food and the traditional basket is equally delicious. All in all they serve good variety from Mexican to Spanish! Some might feel it is little expensive but then you are freaking Hauz Khas and not Pallika Bazar! I would personally recommend this joint for trying out Prawn delicacies. And make sure you get that corner seat on the roof top. You will never have a better meal experience.

Then, for deserts, always and always go for this Kulfi Joint which is just next to the entrance of OTB which offers like myriad flavors one doesn't usually find. And then in preparation for round two of food, you can take a stroll in the park on the other side of the lake. You can also take a walk along side the lake which is sadly so thickly populated with algae that you start pondering how the damn ducks are surviving there. On our walk we found this little kid throwing trash in the lake. When we told him not to, he was probably amused. He could not understand the sense of it. We all know its not his fault. But it hurts to see that we are not doing anything about it. I think childhood and adolescence are very crucial periods and as adults it is our duty to guide and shape them. We have to get the act right when the metal has not solidified.

Anyways, from this we moved on to discuss what great potential the place had to attract tourists but sadly undone by the absence of aesthetics. It is a pity. The place has great eating joints, remnants of the Sultanat Period, a modest lake and think forest cover around. What else you need to spend your day in peace. But the dirty lake is a sure mood killer and must be looked after. Overall, its a great place for spending your day off from work. Try out variety of food, sit along the grass covers and walk around the not-so-beautiful lake!

Thanks Nikhil for your great company!