Reddish blues

 Varicella zoster virus has crippled me. Chicken Pox is what they call it. It used to be common in children but these days when humans are violating all patterns setup to create a balance, why should the nature not violate the agreement ? I used to feel lucky enough having escaped from it in my childhood but now i feel that perhaps that is a better time to handle the repercussions that surface. Thousands of itchy red boils all over the body coupled with recurring fever and headaches. You cannot read, you cannot sit, you cannot sleep and you cannot curse. The last inability due to my mothers presence which is the only good thing i can see these days. Also, these are the worst days look wise. Aah, terrible joke right. Even my sense of humor suffers.


 And such disasters are worse to digest if they stand in your way during the most crucial times of your life. But sometimes we have no control over things that happen. Sometimes you just need to accept it and look forward. In such times, we do tend to feel that destiny is only screwing us. But when I look around, there are so many others in pain. Much more in quantity and longitude. In light of their agony, my sufferings are infinitesimally small. I keep telling myself that. And that kinda helps. Positive attitude and a strong will are required. And in such times, the voice of Thomas Wayne resonates in my mind.


" Why do we fall......" 


And i keep on telling myself, " ... so that we learn to pick ourselves up...."

Vicky Donor * * * *

"Huh, ye bhi koi donate karne ki cheeze hai....waise bhi waste hi karte ho na, usse accha donate hi kar do.."

Well, yes to many people in our desi audience these lines might not convey what they are meant to as apparently sperm donation is a novel thing here and though it has been existing since ages even in India no body talks about it for sure. But this brilliant and intelligent script has presented the whole concept in a way that is a sure sell out and entertaining in the purest sense. Juhi Chaturvedi's story is top notch and Shoojit Sircar's direction makes it even better.

So, Vicky is a typical punjabi munda from Delhi. Stud-types, handsome, charming, sportsman, well-built & what not. Oh yes, one thing, he is not employed. This healthy and highly potent fish is grabbed by a mediocre fertility doctor(Anu Kapoor) who is struggling to keep his fertility clinic alive amidst the scarcity of good swimmers in Delhi. The doc after a background check on Vicky, finds out that apparently he has unusually high fertility like a pure cross-breed of the Aryans and Alexander the great.He then tries to convince Vicky to make good use of his tadpoles. What follows is a hilarious depiction of changing attitudes, his bong love affair, the superb chemistry between his mother and grandma and the outstanding performance of Anu Kapoor. Take a bow, ladies and gentlemen. For Anu Kapoor. Perhaps he has always been the underdog and the most unsung for sure. But this role will give him the applause that he sincerely deserves. His punjabi accent and mannerism is spermtastic!

Another great thing about Vicky Donor is the array of superb performances. Be it our punjabi Munda Ayushman Khurana, or Dolly Ahluwalia as his mother. The modern grandma who drinks scotch like a fish is too good to be true and produces zillion lol moments with her witty one liners. Vicky's Bengali love affair and the whole Punjab vs Bengal debate is presented beautifully. The film moves on so effortlessly that you fall in love with all the characters which eventually helps to cope up with the slow pace of the movie towards the end. You do not get bored as you get connected very well in the opening half. The songs Rum & Whisky  and Pani da rang  are superb and complement the movie well. The end is kinda predictable but the first part is so impressive that you cannot simply afford to leave before the titles. So, Vicky donor  is one of those experiments which play with newer subjects using the not so famous cast. But a very successful experiment for sure. Worthy of 4 sperms! Oh, I mean 4 stars.Go and have a blast with the sperms ! Not literally though.

The Hunger Games *

Set up somewhere far in the future, this movie is yet another satire on the stratification of the world into rich and poor sections. Hunger Games is the annual event organized by the capitol i.e. the riches who control the world. Two residents, one man and one woman  from each of the twelve districts are reaped to take part in this barbaric sport. And they have to fight each other till only one is left. These games were instituted as a retribution of the rebellion by the poor people against the wealthy of the capitol. These games are meant to remind the poor that they are doomed to be poor. Forever.

Although the movie takes off on a damn hot premise but soon collapses given the below-average screenplay, mediocre direction and not-so-impressive portrayals by the cast. The initial phase where the audience needs to be sensitized with the atrocities of these poor districts, fails to connect. The much needed intensity to pull off such a script is missing throughout. The whole portion depicting the preparations to the games comes out to be totally irrelevant and unnecessarily stretches the movie too far.

At the beginning of the games, you again get the thrill and the various possibilities that one anticipates keeps you occupied. But that happens only for a while. This part again fails to engage your attention. Talking about the action sequences, oh wait, there aren't any. The Hunger Games should have been something more intriguing. The only thing you might like in the movie is the way it ends. It exemplifies a great philosophy that the world runs on hope and if you take the hope away, it is bound to collapse.

It also highlights the simple truth that rich are rich because there are poor. The rich cannot let go off them. So summing up, it is a semi-boring satire on the rich-poor divide coupled with an apparent sci-fi dimension. High possibility that you won't like it. Although Karl Marx would have found it interesting!

Rare earth elements

In this Kalyug, where morality has taken a back seat, people are driven by rage and seek vanity. In fact vanity has become their favorite sin. Selfishness has become pervasive and as a result it has moved on from the chambers of amoral values to those of practicality. No one questions the phenomenon which is ubiquitous. If everyone pees on the wall, it's not a wall anymore. Rather a public urinal. Of late , it comes in-situ with human beings.

Money has replaced self-actualization from the Maslow's hierarchy of needs and apparently there is nothing you can't buy. Apparently. There is nothing wrong in going for money. Even the Protestants preached the spirit of capitalism and even our vedas underpinned the essence of Artha i.e. livelihood. At least it keeps you occupied. Empty spaces are vulnerable and the devil seeks then desperately.  I never understood the point in leaving everything and ascending to the forest hills to seek nirvana. They say  sab moh-maya hai. But then why the hell are we here. At least ambitions give us a purpose to pursue. Way better than just sitting under a damn tree all your life.

People do get carried away though. They take this purpose so seriously that they seek it by all means possible. And most of us are lost in the scramble for self gratification. And  even if we reach there someday, we realize that we have been moving so fast pushing aside everyone in the way. The goal stands conquered but coupled with alienation and loneliness.

There has to be a balance of sorts. Balance is everything. We as a species will only survive if we maintain a balance with the nature. We as an individual would survive only if we balance self-gratification with the selflessness. Only if we live for others as well. Only if we have a shared vision. There is joy in achieving but only if you have people to share it with. But the thing is, there are few good people around these days. So if you find any, make sure you don't loose that person because of petty infatuations of pride and prejudice. Such people are like rare earth elements. Hard to find & most precious for sure.

Housefull 2 * *

"Naajayaj are born out of love and jayaj out of duty!"

Housefull 2 is a collage of numerous such loling wisdom lines presented via a gamut of stars spread across all sections of Bollywood. Like the original edition, it is based upon silly confusions and manipulations comprising a family crisis with humungous scope for situational comedy.

Wicked Sunny(Akshay Kumar) is back and well he has done quite well after a long time. His lustful character is funny and so are the sensual noises he makes all over. May be not like Rowdy Rathore but surely a super tharky one. Right from his first frame, Sunny outshines others is whatsoever aspect of comedy.'Ye mera baap hai, aur main iska paap'; 'Langurs, have my angoors'; and many more!

Some scenes really make you go rofl. The one with the croc and python; The one with Sunny's swinging bandwagon; etc etc. The elder cast has done a relatively better job. The Kapoor fraternity playing the Kapoors did it convincingly. Mithun da & Co support the script well. The girls though have not got much to do as usual but to shake their booty once in a while. Anarkali Disco Chali  is surely a hit and Maliaka even gets a couple of dialogues. A new for her sensual stints in Hindi Cinema.

Sajid has done a good job on the situational comic front but the unnecessary action sequences stretch the movie too much at times. The boring song sequences are also apparently a waste. There is no story as such and it's just a nonsensical series of unfortunate events which do provide laughter. So, it delivers what it promises. People who are bored with sinking ships and blood shedding Titans might enjoy some laughs here. And this is running Housefull.  Not joking!

iFrenzy epidemic

The way Apple products are gaining popularity is surely taking us to a time when all the words in the dictionary would start with 'i' as by then they would have prefixed every damn thing with their trademark 'i'. You can see how crazy people are for the iphone and ipad in India which has become the ultimate status symbol. This is perfectly depicted in their tag line which goes like - If you don't have an iphone, you don't have an iphone!

But apparently we Indians are way saner than our developing rivals i.e the Chinese. They may have small eyes and a baby spine but they are super crazy when it comes to the 'i' stuff. There have been many reports of violence in the Apple stores all across China by people missing out on gadgets on the very first day of their release. They are out to kill on the streets for the latest version of gadgets by Apple. But recently, they went too far. There have been reports of teenagers selling their body parts to get money so that they can buy the latest iphone and ipad.  There is this 17-year old who sold his kidney to get an ipad. You got to be kidding me!

Smart phones are next in line. What good are you if your phone doesn't have a touchscreen. Oh, you still stuck with Nokia 1100, are you from Mohenjodhero or something.? Move on dude!

Apparently the materialistic aspirations of people are taking big leaps and the middle class probably wants the Poverty Line redefined as the 'i' line. If you don't have an iphone, you are poor and the government then should provide you an iphone at subsidized price. What crap! This has resulted in a proverbial revolution. There were times when 'necessity was the mother of invention'. Today, if they invent something new, it becomes a necessity. So, role reversal. Invention is the mother of necessity.

Lets first make sure every one gets Roti, Kapda & Makaan. We can go ifrenzy then.

Titanic 3D *

It's the era of 3D and 3G where the two-dimensional realms are becoming passe. While Indian film industry is planing to digitize it's colossal collection of block-busters, Hollywood is one step further. Re-releasing the legends with an added dimension. And James Cameron is the apparent torch bearer fallen so deep in love with the ocean that he managed to reach the Challenger Deep of Mariana Trench.

This opportunity is actually for those who haven't seen the class act yet. But for those who have seen it even on the small screen, it is sheer waste. And also it's 3 hours 15 minutes long. There is nothing 3D about it. No difference whatsoever from the original. And the fuzz created by the newspapers that the censor board hasn't censored anything is apparently a rumor. You don't get to see Kate Winslet's assets in 3D. What a disappointment!

Things have changed now. People's taste has surely. No body likes stretched and tortoised screenplay. After witnessing the mind boggling heights of animation in flicks like Avatar, Transformers and so on, the viewers expect much more than what this 1997 cult has to offer. It did win 11 Oscars then, but today even in 3D, it's not worth even one. Yes, the original did deliver stuff that will stay forever. The duo stretching hands and embracing the sea. The collapse of the titanic into two parts and the sheer gigantism of the efforts needed. The 3D adds nothing. Except it makes Kate look real fat and almost like a motherly figure to Dicaprio. In all possibilities, avoid it.